Tuesday, December 18, 2007

ok, ok, i get it, i GET it...



As I sit here watching the finale of "The Biggest Loser," I'm prompted to offer up this, a fictional phone conversation between a "mother" and a "daughter."

(phone rings)

Daughter: Hello?

Mother: How you doin', honey?

Daughter: Oh, hey, Mom... I'm fine. A little down in the dumps, but fine. I'm just feeling a little funky about some stuff these days and...

Mother (interrupting): Aw, honey, you'll be fine! Now. How's your exercise regimen comin' along?

Daughter: Well, I haven't really been inspired to work out lately. It seems that I've had a lot going on, and I just sometimes think that...

Mother (interrupting again): Well, you just gotta get on that horse again, ya know? I mean, you were on quite a roll there for a while and I just know that you'll feel better once you drop a few pounds and get back out there.

Daughter: I know that, Motherrrr. But it just seems that these days I'm struggling with some stuff, and I'd really like to talk ab...

Mother (yet another interruption): So what ever happened to that guy you were seeing? He was pretty hot.

Daughter: Well, things didn't work out. I'm not feeling all that confident, and work has got me sooooo beat that I just don't have the energy and attention to devote to nurturing a new relationship. Especially with someone who gets put off by the fact that I'm a very busy person with a lot of things pulling me in a bunch of directions. You know what he did? He got upset with me because I had plans, and ...

Mother: Aw, that's horrible. Really horrible. His loss. Well, I'm sure you'll get back out there. I mean, we all of us married ladies just sit around and wonder when YOU'RE going to finally settle down. I mean, you'd be such a catch if you'd just drop a few pounds and...

Daughter: Gotta go, Mom. TTYL!

(click)

You know what? To quote a great philosopher:

"One of these days some li'l terrorist bomber might just come in here and blow up this entire joint and then no one's gonna hafta worry about ME!"

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