Thursday, May 31, 2007

kate smith is warming up...

One more of my favorite things, courtesy of today's AJC:

Couple Sues Wal-Mart Over Slip in Vomit

DAVENPORT, Iowa — A woman's fall in a puddle of vomit has resulted in a lawsuit against Wal-Mart. June Medema, slipped in the vomit at a Davenport Wal-Mart on June 13, 2005, according to the lawsuit, filed by Medema and her husband, James, in Scott County District Court earlier this month.

Medema claims that she was seriously injured in the fall.

The lawsuit alleges that Wal-Mart's negligence led to Medema's fall, but it does not specifically say how the store was negligent.

John Simley, a Wal-Mart spokesman, decline comment saying he hadn't seen the lawsuit.

The lawsuit claims that Medema suffered serious neck and upper back injuries in the fall and has undergone several surgeries and is unable to work."

Wal-Mart + vomit + moron/midwesterner = frivolous lawsuit. God Bless America!!!

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

"what need we manhattan...?

...just us and a cat in
a cottage on Cape Cod!"

Well, I think we'll be able to do without the cat, but you get the drift.

Every. Single. Time. I go to Provincetown, I'm amazed by new things, despite the fact that it is always the same old P'Town. Below, a help me draw the memories of the last two days to the cheery foreground of my mind...

* Heaven is riding the ferry to P'Town and seeing the OSW waiting for you at the dock.
* Our hosts could not have been more gracious. I could go on, but I won't. It would be redundant. They are amazing men.
* Rode my bike all over town and felt for all the world that I was flying.
* I want to be a townie and am resolved to take steps in that direction.
* I have yet to eat a bad meal in that place.
* I finally met my husband. We've been married for some time, but I just met him this weekend (long story). The ONE photo that I've seen of him does not do him justice. Honestly, there must be a problem with the men of Boston if that one is single...
* I have come to the conclusion that everyone in P'Town is friendly. And not in that fakey, Southern I'll-talk-nice-to-you-and-then-criticize-you-when-you-turn-away kind of way. Friendly.
* Talked with God for one single, beautiful moment. It was neat.
* Screaming on the dance floor at the Boat Slip seems to always get a laugh.
* A favorite moment? Watching the sunset over the bay and looking up and down the beach to see hundreds of other people doing the same thing. The more I think I know about the world, the more I'm floored by the simple, gorgeous things that strike a bell in so many of us.

Labor Day cannot come fast enough.

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

and i don't have the munchies

My water smells like marijuana.

No joke. This has been the case for months now, and I know it to afflict the plumbing elsewhere in town (other friends have pointed it out, much to my amazement - I thought I was the only one). I even emailed the city water department, but I suspect the deleted it immediately, sending me to the "crazy" file.

But honestly...I turn on the shower or start the laundry or simply brush my teeth, and I can totally smell pot. Medicine mixed with sweet with dash of earthy. It's gross. I suspect that it has something to do with the massive water and sewer overhaul in Our Fair City these days. And it is probably toxic, but whatever.

In other news, I have maintained my clean home, had people over this weekend, and have a brief but oh-so-needed jaunt to the Cape this weekend. Cape Cod, that is.

As the OSW says, life in America does not suck.

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

dolly'll never go away...

You know, it has indeed been quite a long time since I've written, and I think I have a good reason for that.

Actually, I HAVE written quite a bit in the last little while. I'll be inspired to write about something, I'll sit and punch it out, and then read it....only to select-all-delete the whole damn thing.


Because nine times out of ten the tone of my writing was bitter, judgemental, and just plain stinkin' negative. And I din't like it one bit.

Topics included that high school quarterback to killed himself in a drunken car accident, Rev. Jerry F.'s death, some bits n' pieces in our fair local newspaper, etc. But my take on each of those things had a decidedly hurtful slant to it, and I did not like how I sounded. And no amount of clever wordplay seemed to diminish the meanness of my commentary.

Something has shifted in me recently. Now, I'm still acerbic, sardonic, and critical. I don't think that my wit has dulled in any way.

But I (re)started this blog to hone my writing and simultaneously get some stuff out, and part of that is picking and choosing how I present myself. It is a theme that has manifested itself in my home, my diet, and my body. I welcome the change.

I just hope this isn't the "manic" phase of a developing bipolar disorder. That would fuckin' suck.

Wednesday, May 02, 2007

now i don't feel so bad...

This story strikes me as funny...

From yesterday's AJC:

SUNBURY, Pa. — A woman accused of holding police at bay by brandishing poisonous snakes was sentenced to house arrest and probation.

"I just wasn't in the right frame of mind that night," said Terry Jackson, 36, at her sentencing Monday.

Officers were trying to prevent the despondent woman from harming herself with a hunting knife when the confrontation took place Oct. 25, police said.

Jackson picked up two western diamondback rattlesnakes, a pygmy rattlesnake and two copperheads to try to keep police from taking her into custody, authorities said.

Jackson, who was raising the snakes for laboratories, received several bites during the standoff and was taken to a hospital after police subdued her with a stun gun.

The snakes were later donated to a zoo in Hershey.

I LOVE it: "I just wasn't in the right frame of mind that night."