list

* All the news about the drought has me feeling a little down (bah-dum-bum). My lord, it's URINETOWN!

* Had a fabulous weekend of stunning weather, great parties, a date, some sex, and a whole lotta gratitude for all of it.

* I'm sitting here right now watching Matt Lauer interview Senator Larry "I was just picking up some paper from the toilet stall floor" Craig. Gross. His wife is grousing about the effect that bloggers have had on this whole scandal. Well..add me to the list, lady...

* I know that this will come as a surprise to many of you, but Ellen's meltdown today made me laugh my ass off. Come. On. There's gotta be a better way to make your point. Plus, she's a REAL ugly crier....

* The OSW and I went to dinner last night. Dinner was amazing, despite the Drunk Loudmouth and his friends who were sitting near us at the bar.

* I love my job and I love my work and stuff, but I just had the urge yesterday to cash out what little I have and just disappear. This comes and goes with me, and (naturally) I've never acted on it. That pesky "lack of funds" keeps getting in the way...

* Next break? Thanksgiving. Not. Soon. Enough.

This Week's Favorite Thing

Ok. Here are my thoughts on the titles she won in the competition:

1. Best Use of a Trumpet as Laser Gun
2. Most Outstanding Ogilvy Home Perm
3. Superior Usage of Christmas Tree Tinsel in a Costume
4 Most Inappropriate Use of a Charlie Chaplin Impersonation
5. Best Exit in Silence While Expecting Applause

Anyone else? Suggestions?

On a more serious note, this is what comes from too much parental encouragement.

mists

I was hesitant to get out this morning. I woke up early enough, but it was sooo dark outside and - to be perfectly honest - I'm a little creeped out by the park before sunrise. I'm not that fast a runner, and I do wear an iPod; experts might say that those were my first two problems right there. I may switch to biking - faster, more gratifying, and an easier getaway from anyone who might feel like gettin' in my way.

So I waited a little bit until I saw the first silver and pink slivers of the dawn, and ventured out. The park was covered by a thick mist, and the buildings of Midtown took up the shimmer as the mists gradually faded with the sunrise. Now it is absolutely golden out there, and I'm glad I managed to roll out of bed and be a part of it for a moment.

And a little post-workout flirtation with the cute Boot Camp instructor at the Caribou didn't hurt, either...

in yo FACE

I just did one of my very favorite things to do on a Sunday in Atlanta. And I ain't talkin' about the events of last night. THAT's a story for a different day, friend...

I live around the corner from a very popular breakfast restaurant called The Flying Biscuit. It is ridiculously popular, for reasons that elude me. I mean, at the end of the day, it's all just eggs and coffee to me - but the people line up for HOURS to get into the place. Honestly, on any given weekend, rain or shine, you'll see a massive crowd of people outside. In the summer...they wait in the sickening heat; in the winter, they wait in the cold and rain. I don't get it. And I don't get it largely because there are about a hundred breakfast places in town. Again...it's just eggs and coffee, y'all.

I used to manage a popular restaurant in Manhattan's West Village. It was the same thing: the people would line up to get in for pancakes and bacon - with about a thousand other options nearby. And they were always grumpy, usually having partied the night before and in desperate need of nourishment. Mean, angry, hungover people to whom a thirty-minute wait was a life sentence. They would harass me endlessly until I was able to seat them, and then berate the waitstaff for not moving at lightning speed with their coffee or bloody marys. And since it was just breakfast, the checks were never very large, so the staff didn't make money despite running their butts off all morning. There are a lot of parts to breakfast service: creamers and jams and sugar caddies and little hot pots of water for tea and spoons and blah blah blah. Everyone was unhappy, and I would just pray for the end of my shift.

So, I got up this morning and needed food - having been out last night and in need of nourishment like all those awful people I mentioned. Which brings me to my favorite thing to do on a Sunday. I called the restaurant and placed an order to go. I casually strolled over to the Caribou to get an iced coffee, then back across the street to the Biscuit to get my food. The hideous people in line glared at me, and I could hear their thoughts: "What? Why does HE get to just saunter inside?" I sailed in, picked up my food, and worked my way back through the throng outside. They glowered and grumbled and turned their attention to the hostess, who was just trying to keep some order. The women all had that bitter, pinched look on their faces that said, "Now why didn't we think of that? God, I HATE that guy" and their boyfriends all had that harried look that said, "What the fuck are we waiting for? I mean, it's just eggs and coffee."

I, however, sat in wonderful comfort on my porch, ate my food and drank in the beautiful day. My favorite thing to do on a Sunday.

rating

There's some dumb widget (I think the kids call it that) that rates the propriety of one's blog based on the frequency of certain words. I got the above rating for a single instance of the word "slut."

Oops..I said it again. Better make that a PG-13.

my new favorite thing

There are many things I love about this clip, but I'll just point out a few:

1. LOVE the completely overdone, wide vowels: "XAHN-AH-DOUH!"

2. MORE LOVE for the slutty costumes and horrible "beauty pageant" choreography and runway walkin'.

3. WOULD LOVE TO KNOW what the eff does the Star-Trek-Mr.-Spock "Live long and prosper!" gesture at the end have to do with "Xanadu?" Or is it more the Mork the Dork from Ork, "nanu-nanu!" kind of crap?

4. ALSO, I'd LOVE to know where in America one can find a high school with forty homosexual teenage boys who are out, loud and proud?

The mind spins...with arms akimbo, and JAZZZ HANDZ!

musings

* The AJC reported that Stone Mountain Park had plans to use over ONE MILLION GALLONS of municipal water to create a snowy attraction. They wanted the municipal water because it is treated and would create pure white snow, as opposed to lake water, which would yield brownish-green snow. North Georgia is in an insane drought. Stone Mountain ceased the effort when just about everyone in the state cried foul - loudly. Wise choice.

* A couple in the metro-Atlanta area is facing twenty counts (apiece!) of animal cruelty. Their home was raided when neighbors complained of the smell; inspectors found dead animals, dozens of mistreated living ones, and INCHES of waste on the floor - both animal and human. Neighbors described them as "animal lovers." My. GOD.

* In othe news, I'm still good on my regimen: up early, good food, limited drinking, etc. This is something of a record for me, one I wish to bread again.

* Plans are formulating: PTown Labor Day 2008 (!) and New Year's in....(drumroll)...Los Angeles, after Christmas in Ft. Lauderdale!

* I'm shopping for a new/used car. Any suggestions?

* Atlanta still wants to ban baggy pants. Some folks are crying "racist." I just call it "damn ugly."

* Must. Clean. Home.

* I miss my Johns.

aweshome

It was a klassic Well, Well, Well-style weekend (minus the sex).

The OSW and I went to a new restaurant on Friday night, Beleza, in the 905 Juniper building. I've been waiting for a restaurant to open in that space and lemme just tell ya, kids - it was worth the wait. A gorgeous interior, fabulous service, and absolutely delicious food. I am thrilled to have such fabulousness within steps of my own home. Seriously.

We then ventured to Fifth Skreet for an impromptu get together. Then I went to Blake's and met a former aquaintance, who asked, "Why didn't you date me?" I may reconsider my earlier decision to let that one go...

I stayed in on Saturday night, as I had to work on Sunday morning. But that was done by noon, and I ventured over to Fifth Skreet again for a Sunday luncheon thrown by the OSW and Connie. It was perfect in cuisine and company, and I mighta had a little bit of champagne on that fine Sunday afternoon.

The perfect weather underscored a remarkable gathering of friends, and I am more certain than ever that if heaven exists, it's full of good food and front porches....

update

Work was pretty good.

today

Today is Friday. I have to go to work in a few minutes. Then I will come home and go to dinner with a friend. Then I will go to bed.

damn

I woke up at 6, planning to get out there and get my blood moving. However, I hit the wrong button on the alarm and turned it to "off" rather than "snooze," and missed my workout. Damn.

Now, if I had someone in bed with me to help me stay on track....

gasp

A list...

* Friday = much needed haircut and an even more needed drink with Mrs. Steve. I sat on one of their Kroger chairs on the back porch, and it broke. I'm thinking of suing.

* Hurricane John breezed (or is it "broze?") through Atlanta on his way to he new home in NYC. We went to a dinner party on Friday night, but I missed him before he departed on Sunday. I would feel badly about not saying a formal goodbye, but for some reason this absolutely does NOT feel like "goodbye..."

* Work work work all weekend, but it's all good and I'm very, very happy with the current state of affairs at the institutional.

* Dinner with the family on Sunday night, to celebrate my sister's birthday; I was tardy, due to work obligations. Mom made an unbelievable cake, and we started making plans for Thanksgiving. Yes, we make plans for Thanksgiving in September. It's the way we are.

Frankly, that's all that I have to report. I'd apologize for it being lackluster and "not the way I used to write," but I really don't give a shit about what you think.

: )

coulda

I could blog about what I did last night, but that would compromise a certain someone's privacy.

i could blog about what happened when I got up this morning, but that would imply that I got some sleep last night.

I could blog about how crappy I feel, but that would be boring.

I could blog about these things, but I won't.

I'm trying to be discreet.

oh what a beautiful mornin'

Y'all....remind me....we gotta cut that numbah.

It was a stunning morning today, though. Shades of pink, gold, blue, and that silvery blue color that bounces off the buildings in Midtown. I'm going to drink it up before the depths of winter descend and I have no choice but to work out in the darkness.

I almost didn't make it out of bed this morning. I fell asleep on the couch last night, and my slumber was interrupted by some idiot televangelist who apparently comes on one of the network channels after everything else has had the good sense to sign off the air. His crazy rambling drove me to my bed, where I crashed for a few hours until the alarm sounded. I ignored it a coupla times, until the voice in my head shouted, "GET UP!" It was that sharp, with a high pitch. "GET UP!" So I did, and worked my way around the park. I even bumped into the OSW. There I was, just winding down my workout, when a pale haze of alcohol went breezing by me. He was working the booze out of his system, as oil is expressed from an olive. This apparently was the side effect of a less-than-stellar date last night. I can't say I blame him...I probably would have hit the drinks, too.

Had a Krazy Day yesterday. Various crises rose in my path, and I must confess that I had difficulty overcoming them. It was only with the help of friends that I was able to do so, which reminds me that despite my anxiety, I do, in fact, have resources.

Have a blessday, y'all.

back in the saddle

7:19 AM

Despite the fact that my alarm didn't go off and I slept with the window open which made my bed feel even more wonderfully comfortable, I did get up this morning and get moving. I was a little late, so I had to cut my program short, but I got up nonetheless, and feel great for it. The park and sunrise were just beatiful this morning - the light struck the buildings of Midtown and turned them all gold, and a delicate mist ebbed low in the park. There were lots of people out and about, some of whom smiled and waved as I went by them. Charming.

Today will be nuts, but I feel like I have the bull by the horns.

praise be, part II

Thanks be to all things holy, but the weather broke here in our fair city, and I feel like real human being again. Everything is breathing a sigh of relief: the concrete, the air conditioning units, the cars, the air, the grass...EVERYTHING. It feels fabulous.

I took MARTA to work on Saturday, because the weather was nice and I just didn't feel like driving. It wasn't without its hitches, not the least of which was the urine-soaked gentleman who sat near me on my way home. I mean, I can stomach some stuff, but this was naaaaasty, and I had to get up lest I lose my lunch.

It was such a gorgeous day that I couldn't help but stop by Zocolo's on my walk home from the train station for a little quesadilla and a beer. Later, a charming party at the OSW's house, followed by more work on Sunday, and a spin through Blake's on Sunday night. I'd say this was a pretty good weekend. No Labor Day in PTown, but I'll take what I can get.

I'm off to bed, as I wish to rise with the birds and see another glorious morning before it gets too dark and cold to coax me out of the bed.

it's on

Just so's ya know...I'm still workin' on it. Thankfully, there was no rain this morning, so I was able to get out and about before work.

There was, however, a LOT of rain this afternoon, which meant that every traffic light went on fritz, and every driver went deaf, dumb, and blind. MARTA may have earned my business this afternoon.

And before I break for the weekend, I have a confession to make:

I shtole the DIAMONDZH DRESSH! It was supposhed to go to the Shmithshonian, but I jusht had to have it! After all, when Gower Champion gave me that third arabeshque...

morning report

6:52 AM

I was up before dawn and got some exercise. Why didn't anyone ever tell me that it's easier to jumpstart your day if you DON'T enjoy too much pinot grigio the night before?

One thing I'm worried about, though: I have a very difficult time rising before the sun, and hope that I will be able to keep the momentum when the days grow even shorter. I mean, sheesh...it was pitch black at 6:05 AM. Also, I think I'll keep things nice n' quiet this weekend, so's I don't kill my Monday.

Ever since I got back from Provincetown, I've felt great - organized, energetic, and focused. I really, REALLY hope that this is not a phase, that the other shoe will stay on my foot. I'm writing about all this to chart my mood/efforts/attitude, with hopes that the daily reminder will keep me on track.

Have a blessday, y'all.

and so it begins...

I've begun to implement my five-year-plan, as I am typically prone to procrastination and don't want to try to pack all of this in to the final year of the five.

So. I won't bore you with the details, but suffice it to say that it is nothing short of a miracle that I am up at this hour (7:29 AM), having already accomplished quite a bit. Usually, I would just be rolling out of bed, scrambling for coffee and a breakfast bar and running to the elevator. I have a long day ahead of me, and for the first time in a long time, I feel like I've gotten a head start.

Not to get all Flippy on you, but there might be something to this whole "put it out there and it will come to you" thing.

Thank you, Dr. Norman Vincent Peale.

when i think of home

Well, well, well...I'm back. For those of who know me, I suspect that you will be able to predict my personal experience of a Labor Day weekend in Provincetown. Trust me, this most recent visit did not disappoint. It was full of (blank) and (blank) and (insert name here). But mostly it was full of the old magic...yes, I believe in magic, and it can be mined in Provincetown...in copious amounts, in fact.

And for those of you who DON'T know me, well..my apologies. Here is a cryptic list of things/memories/vague recollections/epiphanies that bubble to the surface...

* "Cocktails on a Plane." In truth, the joke was pretty much "Cocktails ANYWHERE," but we were specifically planning a sequel to "Snakes on a Plane," except with aggressive cocktails in place of snakes.

* "Three Bottoms in a Bottomed-Out Boat," a modern Gilbert n' Sssssullivan operetta.

* A Conversation Overheard By (or is it "Imposed Upon") the Good People of Commercial Street, While Two Queens Fly Down the Street on Rented Bicycles:

OSW: God, my eyes are watering.

E: Well, why is that, OSW?

OSW: I think there's something in my contacts.

E: But, OSW...you don't WEAR contacts!

OSW: What?!?

* The Wit and Wisdom of Varla Jean Merman: "Ever since New Orleans got hit by that one-eyed bitch...and I'm not talkin' about Sandy Duncan..."

* What is a marriage?

* My friends are ridiculous freaks. I think that Atlanta made a good showing.

* Came up with a five-year plan...after a few talks with God. I truly think this is possible, y'all.

* Our "house t-shirt:" Front - "02657" (the PTown zip code). Back - "It's a two-street town, y'all." Drew lots of attention...all of it good.

* Saw some other folks who just didn't want to smile. How can you not smile in Provincetown...it's the happiest place on the planet?

* As might be expected, my body hurts from laughing.

* I'm told I had a "black out night," but still remained fun and charming (though I suspect my friends are protecting my feelings, bless them).

* Joy is found on a sunken dance floor in a dumpy bayside bar, trust me. Photos to come.

* And yes...ladies and gentlemen...I have one more word....

TICKETS!

I almost didn't come home...