when i think of home

Well, well, well...I'm back. For those of who know me, I suspect that you will be able to predict my personal experience of a Labor Day weekend in Provincetown. Trust me, this most recent visit did not disappoint. It was full of (blank) and (blank) and (insert name here). But mostly it was full of the old magic...yes, I believe in magic, and it can be mined in Provincetown...in copious amounts, in fact.

And for those of you who DON'T know me, well..my apologies. Here is a cryptic list of things/memories/vague recollections/epiphanies that bubble to the surface...

* "Cocktails on a Plane." In truth, the joke was pretty much "Cocktails ANYWHERE," but we were specifically planning a sequel to "Snakes on a Plane," except with aggressive cocktails in place of snakes.

* "Three Bottoms in a Bottomed-Out Boat," a modern Gilbert n' Sssssullivan operetta.

* A Conversation Overheard By (or is it "Imposed Upon") the Good People of Commercial Street, While Two Queens Fly Down the Street on Rented Bicycles:

OSW: God, my eyes are watering.

E: Well, why is that, OSW?

OSW: I think there's something in my contacts.

E: But, OSW...you don't WEAR contacts!

OSW: What?!?

* The Wit and Wisdom of Varla Jean Merman: "Ever since New Orleans got hit by that one-eyed bitch...and I'm not talkin' about Sandy Duncan..."

* What is a marriage?

* My friends are ridiculous freaks. I think that Atlanta made a good showing.

* Came up with a five-year plan...after a few talks with God. I truly think this is possible, y'all.

* Our "house t-shirt:" Front - "02657" (the PTown zip code). Back - "It's a two-street town, y'all." Drew lots of attention...all of it good.

* Saw some other folks who just didn't want to smile. How can you not smile in Provincetown...it's the happiest place on the planet?

* As might be expected, my body hurts from laughing.

* I'm told I had a "black out night," but still remained fun and charming (though I suspect my friends are protecting my feelings, bless them).

* Joy is found on a sunken dance floor in a dumpy bayside bar, trust me. Photos to come.

* And yes...ladies and gentlemen...I have one more word....

TICKETS!

I almost didn't come home...