Ok.

It's no secret that I really don't like Valentime's Day.

I won't go into the reasons...it's nothing personal...well, maybe a little personal. But I won't bore you with the details of WHY I hate Valentime's Day.

I'll just tell you about my day.

Woke up early this morning, constipated from the rich food at Cuerno last night. Neat. I went through my day, watching dozens and dozens of shitty, ugly, horrible flower arrangements float by as they were placed on top of desks at my place of employment. Some were adorned with teddy bears n' balloons - klassy. Lots of people wished me a Happy Valentime's Day, to which I responded, "Humbug." Fielded many inane questions about whether or not I had a Special Someone, and had to apply much antiseptic to the searing gash in my back, as the knife twisted with each inquiry.

Throughout the day, I wished to call many friends, but didn't, as most of them are in relationships and I just didn't feel like talking about all of that. Suffered the assurances of many people that I would find someone someday. Neat.

After a long and depressing day at work (for reason's beyond the whole Valentime's Thing), I ventured to Your Ansley Mall Kroger, and sat in the parking lot for a moment before entering. It was 9:30 PM, and hand to God: there were RIVERS of men pouring out of that place with shitty floral arrangements and balloons and krap, surely on their way home to ridiculous, hideous, demanding women who dreamed of Helzberg diamonds but instead will get some shitty bouquet with a teddy bear stuffed into it, probably embroidered with the phrase "I wuv you BEARY MUCH!" Serves 'em all right.

Once inside the Kroger, I selected my goods and breezed past the Valentime's aisle - at the suggestion of the night manager, whose voice on the loudspeaker advised me that there were still "great deals to be had!" The aisle looked like the Seasonal Items aisle at your local Kroger - in Baghdad or Darfur. Tatters. Shreds. Chocolates everywhere. Discarded rose petals. Gross.

I drove home, and the OSW called to complain about choking on some nuts. Don't ask.

I quickly mixed myself a cocktail, and can honestly say that it's the only stiff thing I'm getting this Valentime's Day. Somehow, I'm ok with that.