what i did in provincetown this summah

You know what? When I told everyone that I planned to spend six weeks in Provincetown this summer, they all asked the same question: What are you going to do for six weeks in Provincetown if you're not working?

To that end, ladies and gentlemen, here is my very, VERY long list of Things I Did in Provincetown this Summah:


Saw Varla Jean Merman’s new show, Victory Lap Dance and was amazed by it
Saw The Wau Wau Sisters and befriended them
Saw Dina Martina’s show and must see it again to process it all (dialysis humor and “useless at-risk kids”)
Saw Miss Richfield’s show and hated it
Saw Two Boys in Bed on a Cold Winter’s Night and didn’t hate it as much as I thought I would
Laughed ‘til it hurt at Showgirls talent show
Gave several impromptu performances of my own on the street and in various parlours
Read five books: Land’s End by Michael Cunningham, Absolute Brightness by James Lecesne, When You Are Engulfed in Flames by David Sedaris, The Shadow of the Wind by Carlos Ruiz Zafon, and Tennessee Williams in Provincetown by David Kaplan
Swam in the ocean every day when it was fair
Got an amazing tan
Went whale watching and saw over fifty humpback whales
Spoke with God a couple of times
Did three art crawls in the East End art galleries and chatted with some artists
Dined at the Lobster Pot – several times
Was told by the ladies at the Pot that I was “one of them” (commence tears)
Looked at some real estate
Went to a family reunion in Orleans
Had lunch with Mom, Dad, Sister and Aunts when they visited
Watched the Fourth of July Parade
Watched the Fourth of July fireworks over the marina
Got a Townie Pass to the Boatslip
Threw up behind the A House
Almost got arrested for “open container”
Wished that I’d been arrested so I could say that I spent the night in the PTown Clink
Ate at just about every restaurant in town
Went back to Orleans for dinner with my aunt and uncle
Rode my bike on or walked on just about every little street in this town
Saw a couple of people on Segways and thought the looked retarded
Took the pontoon ferry over to Long Point for an exquisite afternoon on the beach
Hosted a host of friends at Grey Gardens
Saw a movie (the new Batman film) on a “Rainy Day Matinee”
Caught Cape Croup and had a mild nervous breakdown because of it
Made a dozen or so new friends
Spent all of my money
Drank my weight in Rose Kennedys, Long Island Iced Teas (w/ raspberry vodka), and Smirnoff Lime Rickys
Declared this summer the “Summer of the Hot Ginger”
Was temporarily a part of a roving band of loonies on bikes called the “Gay Marauders”
Witnessed the birth of a beautiful relationship
Developed the wonderful habit of reading the New York Times print edition every day
Lost my phone service and put a curse on T-Mobile
Shopped regularly at the Far Land Provisions – the best little grocery store in the world
Gained a few pounds and lost a few pounds
Climbed Pilgrim Monument
Embraced the marvelous power of gratitude
Danced
Laughed
Exhaled
Came up with a plan

Oh…and I kinda fell in love.

Not a bad summah.