Bags? Packed.
House? Cleaned.
Cab? Called.
Work? Done.

I'm outta here. See you on the Cape.

i'm trying

I'm trying to not use the word "hate" anymore, so I won't say that I "hate" the Boot Camps that take over Piedmont Park in the mornings. Let's just say, that I "strongly dislike" them.

Another reason to "strongly dislike" the boot camps is that they take over the local coffee shop en masse and hold up everything. Crowds of them, all at the same time. Thankfully, the sensible barista sensed my frustration at being trapped behind them, and ushered me to another register.

Other than that, the park was stunning this morning. I almost didn't make it, but the wiser of my two brains won out.

Two more days...two more days....

things to do in provincetown this summah

* Climb Pilgrim Monument
* Drive a car only for my initial stocking of the kitchen
* Visit the family in Orleans
* Meet Varla/Jeffery and become an acquaintance
* Join the library
* Read 6 books…or more
* Go to the beach at least three times a week
* Write about everything
* Take a Historic Provincetown Walking Tour
* See at least one live performance per week… at LEAST
* Take a long bike ride Every. Single. Day.
* Set and photograph a prettier dinner table than ANY of genex's - from the available hodge podge of found materials in my house
* Go on an art crawl
* Go on a dunes tour
* Go on a whale watch
* Oh, and maybe hit the Boatslip and A House a coupla times

Have I left anything off the list?

the funniest thing on the internet

It should be no surprise to anyone that the Funniest Thing on the Internet comes to us from The Onion. I swear they hire REAL newscasters to do their fake news.

This clip (SFW) is so chock full of hilarious genius that I do think my head will explode. Watch it over and over and over to see the amazing layers (get it?...the Onion?...layers?...heh heh heh) of brilliance in this humor. I believe it to be a spoof of this real-life event.


High School Tony Awards Honor Nation's Biggest Drama Club Nerds

I mean, hilarious.

another favorite

This will stop when I get back to work next week, I promise.

"Chewing gum helps me think."

"Sweetie, you're wasting your gum."

two days off and i'm already bored

Since I've already been out to exercise and the laundry is all done and the bed is made and I'm sitting at home trying to avoid spending money OR using valuable gas in this heat, I've been playing on youtube.

Below is a clip from one of my all-time favorite films, "Postcards from the Edge." The best part is the first three minutes...

"...of course in those days, the material was a lot better."

oh, i feel so much better

Yes, I spoke with Little John today, and he made me feel better about a lot of things.

And I spoke with the OSW, who was feeling just a cranky as I was. So I felt better by commiseration.

But nothing made me feel just GREAT about things more than this article in today's AJC.

And the capitalized "great" is doused in sarcasm.

SFW, I swear.

broken record

I hate to grouse about the heat in Our Fair City, but...

Jesus Christ on a cracker: it is fucking hot.

Since Friday it has been nothing but blinding, searing heat with absolutely no relief. 80 degrees in the dead of night. No breeze. No rain. Nada. Honestly, I'm not even inclined to leave the house.

On Saturday, I had to walk over to the President and First Lady's house to retrieve my vehicle and I thought I'd have a heart attack. On the way over there I passed by the Park Tavern, a restaurant that rests on the corner of Piedmont Park and is popular for its outdoor space. What did I see going on there? A wedding. A FUCKING WEDDING. There had to be at least two hundred chairs set up OUTSIDE, awaiting the hundreds of people who would come in suits and dresses to sit there. I'd hate to be that bride: it would be tough to maintain one's composure in the hateful glare of two hundred people, all of whom were simultaneously thinking, "Fuck you, bitch, for making me come to your stupid ass outdoor formal wedding in June. Bitch." When will they learn to have their outdoor weddings in April or May in Atlanta - you know, when the weather is picture perfect and the flowers are in bloom?

Oh, and while I'm just feeling a little bitchy, lemme add another little komment about the heat. This gay obsession with avoiding sweat is wearing me out. I swear, if one more person makes a komment about the fact that I've broken a sweat while standing outdoors in 95 degree heat, I will go apeshit on them. "Hey, ever hear of anti-perspirant? Heh heh heh..." Anti-perspirant? I hadn't heard of that! Oh my god...where can I get some?

Other events this weekend included a lot of QT with the OSW. And a lot of drinks. And some good food. No sex (not that I'd tell you about that if I did). To be perfectly honest, I can't even think of sex in this heat.

I think I'll go to Provincetown. Yeah...that's it. I gotta get outta here for a while.

this can't possibly be real

Gawker.com recently make an appropriately snarky comment about this site.

It's SFW. And I cannot believe that these things are real. Seriously.

I posted one that I thought was pretty preposterous. We'll see if it makes the cut.